I so needed this:
Watch the full version here.
I had a whole blog post I was going to write-up tonight for y'all...but in playing catch-up with some of the blogs I follow I came across the above video over at The Blair Affairs and all of my plans went out the window. I've loved getting to know Jennifer through her blog the last month or so, after she stumbled upon my little bloggy and so, naturally...as we bloggers do...I ventured over to her lovely page and fell in love with her heart for the Lord and pure honesty in her postings. Take a few minutes and check her out if you aren't familiar with her already. {Plug: she's going to Ethiopia! Help her out by purchasing one of her super adorable headbands.}
Anywho, back to the high-jacked post. I was talking about my plans for this post just totally readjusting.
Last week was...well...hellacious, to put it lightly.
It started out with general life stresses regarding moving. Where will I call home come the end of September? How am I going to cut rent and still have enough room for my critters. How am I going to find a place that will be affordable enough to allow me to take on some other financial weights as the fall approaches (ahem...like buying a car...and a new computer...)? OK, so stressful, but normal. Everyone downsizes and cuts budgets at some point. Everyone moves at some point. It's always a little stressful, but God has never failed me and has always, always, always provided for me in an incredible way. Sometimes I just forget His faithfulness...how fickle we humans are...
Then came the torrent of emotional heartache as I watched a friend go through a very difficult hurtle in his life. He's coping well, but it was extremely difficult upon first hearing the news. I'd share more, but what I've said already will suffice.
OK...so, life is stressful and friends go through hard times. We've all been there. We've all survived it.
Remember how they say "things come in 3's"? Or, "everything happens all at once"? Well...call it coincidence, or whatever you want to call it, but it held true for last week.
I got news Friday that a friend of mine high school was on a 50 day trip through the Middle East and he passed away last week while over seas. I was speechless when I found out. Thankfully my dear friend Skate (she takes such good care of me) called me so that I didn't have to see it on facebook first, but could hear it from a loving friend - I love her. When I got the news I didn't know how to react, how to respond, what to think...or to even believe it, initially. Justin was one of those people who you could have met only once, but would have been forever impacted by. He was such a vibrant, outgoing, brilliant, fun, loving, person. I didn't really start processing his death until about an hour after I found out. I was talking with my lab mate, and she had suffered through my multiple break downs last week, and told her what had happened and she dropped everything and dragged me out of the lab to go get some frozen yogurt (Robin, you're the absolute best, just for the record!). Robin is excellent. She has a remarkable way of calming people. As we were making the trek down the hill to her car we were chatting about death and loss in general and then she says to me, "So, tell me about Justin." It was nice to be able to think back on some of the fun we'd had in high school...from football games to knitting, to random shenanigans. It was good to remember him. To remember the life and zeal he had - to remember his faith. We didn't do a great job of keeping up with each other after high school, but he had still been a part of my life. Robin made the comment, too, that it's sometimes the most difficult to grieve for those we might not have known as well, or have fallen out of touch with. I couldn't have agreed more. I almost felt like I didn't have the right to mourn him, or to feel loss in his death. But, at the same time I couldn't stop thinking about it and found myself falling into tears much of the weekend.
Needless to say, I spent much of the weekend thinking about loss and death. Thinking about Justin. Thinking that it isn't fair that he was taken so early. Feeling angry. Feeling confused...simply wondering, "why?"
But then my thoughts began to shift.
While I was (and am) still feeling the loss of Justin, and grieving that, I was comforted. I was reminded of his zeal for the Lord. I was reminded that I should be rejoicing that he is with the Father - I should be borderline jealous of that! I should want that! I shouldn't be thinking about how it's unfair that the collective "we" of earth were "robbed" of him. I should be rejoicing that he is walking in glory - that he had fulfilled his time on earth to the Father's satisfaction and that He saw fit to call Justin home. I should be rejoicing, in the midst of death.
And then, because God is so good and works in such wonderful and mysterious ways, He directed me to Jen's blog and where she had previously posted the video at the opening of this post. What a mighty and awesome God He is. He never ceases to amaze me in the way that He cares for His children. That video was just the spiritual reminder that I needed to fully remember what death in Christ means - VICTORY!
Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave!
Christ is risen from the dead!
We are one with Him again!
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave!
Oh death, where is your sting?
Oh hell, where is your victory?
Oh church, come stand in the light!
The glory of God has defeated the night!
Matt Maher
Oh death...where is your sting? Oh grave...where is your victory? These are the questions I should have been asking from the beginning. We are the risen church...Our God is not dead...He's alive. And we live in Him - forever. Glory!
What a blessing it is to be able to find comfort and joy in death.
And with that I'm going to close. The week is nearly up and I'm off to WI on Saturday for a canoeing trip with friends! Can't wait to get out on the water and take in my Daddy's beautiful creation.
Shalom, loves.
~MW
