Life = Emotional Roller-coaster....

Up...and down...Up...and down...

* One week and two days ago I was in quite the state of inner turmoil...I had NO idea what direction I was supposed to take my life and was having some painful issues of the heart.

* By the close of that Monday my heart issues were coming to their full painful fruition, while God was simultaneously showing me that all I need is Him, and all I have to do is trust Him in faith. He really does have everything under control (see previous post).

* Two days after that crazy Monday God dropped me in the middle of the world of academia for a few days and basically told me what to do (no worries, I'll give a full post on my trip to the Land of 10,000 Lakes soon)...I was on such an emotional high that I could hardly even react! Weird feeling, to say the least.

* So, in a short 5 days' time I was broken & mended, lost & directed. Pretty crazy, but I started this week on a crazy high, especially after getting to spend some good times helping out and hanging out for J-Hump's bday.

* Monday rolls around...I'm thinking, "This is going to be an awesome day! I have the Humphrey home all to myself to simply decompress and -STOP-...does life get any better than this?? And I can go play with peeps should I feel up to it...not to mention Hope Group!!" That was my day in my head...and for the most part, that's exactly how it went down. I caught up on emails and such most of the day, grabbed a late lunch and spent the afternoon with Alyssa, grabbed the Humphreys (Curb-side service! Talk about perfect timing!) for Hope Group and off we went to invest in and be invested in by our brothers and sisters in the Lord (such an incredible blessing). Business as usual, I would say. Then it starts to shift.

* Got a somewhat vague text message seeming to grant me condolences...I'm thinking, "What on earth?? What happened??" I quickly head out to the garage and call the 'rents. Finally get an answer at the house and mom informs me that Grandma (dad's mom) went into cardiac arrest after her dialysis treatment that morning and that she was currently on life support at the hospital. "I'm sorry, what?? Did I really just hear that correctly??" Yes, I had heard her correctly; my grandmother was dying and there was nothing I could do about it and I had no way of getting to California to see her. My dad flew out there ASAP and got there in time to see her and say goodbye. They eventually switched her to just a ventilator (respirator? I can't remember which it was) and took her off that, I guess around the time my dad got there. I think the time frame there-after was 10-12hrs.

* Grandma went home to be with our Maker around 1pm central time (11am pacific). My dad said it was a peaceful death and even more so knowing that she is in the arms of our dear Savior. Glory! Isn't it strange how even in the face of trials, loss, and hurts we are called to rejoice in the Lord? Isn't it strange how in some cases rejoicing comes almost as though it were second nature? I pray that rejoicing and giving thanks and praise to God in all things truly becomes something I don't even have to think about...that it would be like breathing...a part of my being.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit."
- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

I love the last verse of this passage: Do not quench the Spirit. What a wonderful command and reminder to not do what I think so many of us tend to do without even thinking. We try to grab our circumstances by the reins and in so doing quench the Spirit...I could be reading that verse wrong, but that's what I take away from it: in ALL things God is in control and so we really don't even need to worry about a thing (Phil 4:5-7)...when we worry/get anxious/whatever and we try to do it all on our own we basically tie the Spirit's hands or gag Him, and therefore don't listen for His all-wise direction. Wow - isn't it amazing what God can teach you through the most difficult of situations??

If I were to say that I don't feel any loss regarding Grandma I'd be straight-up lying to you, but I know that God is in control and works all things to His glory and for good (Rom 8:28). I am praying that He will take this situation and draw my family to Him. Many are lost and have been searching for things of the world to fill those holes in their spirits...and, as might be assumed, to no avail. I pray that they will turn to and cling to God in this time of loss and that my dad will be able to be a light in the darkness throughout the rest of his time in California. Anyways, Grandma was an awesome woman...and an amazing cook! She made some of the best Italian dishes I have ever had...probably all that Italian blood that flowed through her veins...just a hunch... She was active in her community, was an amazing mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother, even to people outside of our family. In a word, she was awesome. Absolutely awesome. She was so incredibly full of life...a true inspiration. I love her dearly, dearly.

Grandma: you were loved so deeply by so many.
You touched so many lives in your time here on earth...none of us could ever repay you for the love, encouragement, and selfless devotion you gave to others.
You poured out your love as though it were never ending...and it truly is.
That gift is something everyone who knew you will cherish forever.
I love you and I miss you terribly.
I absolutely cannot wait to party with you and our Heavenly Daddy - cause I think we all know that you, ma'am, know how to party!!

Shalom,
~MW

Heads up!

Ok kids, so here's a quick run-down of my recent happenings.

1. Had a fun visit in the CS.

2. Already started working on my farmer's tan...awesome.

3. Have experienced some serious God-love over the course of the last 48hrs...seriously, I'm in awe of His amazingly tender, fatherly care. I couldn't ask for a better Heavenly Daddy. Those moments in which He really allows you to feel His loving arms wrapping around you and He holds your heart in His gentle hands are breath-taking. He has truly shown me that He is enough. How great is our God!

4. While He is showing me His unending love, He is also teaching me a huge lesson in patience and waiting...how so? He's making me wait on Him for direction in my life choice...SO HARD! He has shown me two very distinct and very good pathways that I have before me...both of which, ultimately lead to, in essence, the same result...haha, awesome. So it's a matter of choosing the "best" one now. But, which one is the "best" one?!?! I don't know, and I don't know that He is going to give me a crystal clear answer, but I am confident in Him, and believe that He will grant me some inklings this week. (See #5!)

5. In just a few short hours I will be boarding a plane and hitting the skyways to the Land of 10,000 Lakes! That's right, I'm finally going for my prospective grad student informational/meet-n-greet visit. I was informed this morning that there are 9 professors who want to meet with me...um...wait, what?? Yeah...9! I'm kind of freaking out and now have a lot of homework to do between now and the time I land...I only know who 3 of them are!!! Snap! But, it will be good. And I know that the Lord is going to reveal things to me this weekend, or at least give me something that will make sense later on down the road.

That's all for now, folks. If you have a moment and feel led to, I would greatly appreciate some prayer power over the next few days...I need some serious clarity, direction, patience, and trust.

Thanks, all! Let me know if there's anything I can be lifting up to our Heavenly Daddy for you.

Shalom & Blessings,
~MW

FRI-DAY!

Oh wow...I am so happy it's the weekend - I am totally and completely exhausted. That's all there is to it. However, I am totally and completely bummed out about not getting to go to school Monday morning and see those bright and beautifully shining faces...Ugh, I need to hurry up and finish grad school so I can work with kids FOREVER!! :)

Today was surprisingly exhausting for an exam day...probably had something to do with my being overly nice and grading the kids exams before the end of the day so they could know about where they stand for the quarter on their way out to spring break. I am very happy to say that most all of them passed their exams with flying colors!! I am so very proud of them. Bah, I don't want to leave them! I know I sound like a broken record this week, but I'm totally and completely beyond happy working with those darling, darling children.

I really hope I can sub for them again at some point. And, I really hope I can get some slots in GPISD before the school year is up - I'd love to try my hand at that district...and a public school.

Well, as today was my last day I was very blessed to get lots of love from the kiddos - I even got some hugs!!! Lots of notes on the white board, and lots of visits throughout the day. My room was completely full at lunch, as all the kids wanted to come eat lunch with Miss Cummins...wow. What a blessing! As much as I have griped at them this week, they still love me! So great. I had some kiddos in there yesterday, too, but even more today. And lots of visits after lunch and after school, too. I just love those kids!!

I was also blessed to visit with one of my old teachers today, as well. Such a sweet, dear man. He had his little boy with him, too - the last time I saw that child he was barely walking, and there he was talking and toddling along to his class across the way! I could hardly believe my eyes. And this teacher of mine is such a sweet, sweet man. Ah, he just melts my heart. It was wonderful to catch up with him. After school, while I was grading the last of my 7th period exams one of my little brothers' old teachers stopped by and we visited for a bit, too.

Today was just great, all-around. Blessings from and fun with the kiddos, and catching up with people who have touched my life - pure blessings from above.

And with that, I'm off for the night. Yes, it is not even 9pm on a Friday night and I am ready for bed. Perfection =)

Goodnight, all!
Shalom!
~MW

....PUBERTY!!!

So...today was pretty eventful what with the playing of Jeopardy! for a review game. Umm, wow. Those kids get competitive! It was craaaaazy! But fun.

This will be a short post though - I'm beyond tired tonight and am hoping to get to bed a little early :)

All the kids were crazy loud, shouting out the answers out of turn, fighting about who said it first, yada, yada, yada...cry me a river!! Haha.

Ok, here is the gem from the day:
It's an 8th grade class. We are playing Jeopardy! The question is: A ball dropping is an example of what? Without skipping a beat the boy "up to bat" shouts out at the top of his lungs, "PUBERTY!!!" You can't make this stuff up! Wow, they amaze me over and over again with their brutal honesty and 8th grade level of humor/maturity. Yeah...awesome.

I don't wanna leave them come tomorrow!!! I don't wanna do it! I am going to miss them so much! Subbing is pure torture, in that respect :(

On a less depressing note, I got to catch up with one of my high school buddy's moms. She's teaching at my old school now and one of my girls came into class a few min late today carrying a note from this mom. She sent me hugs from upstairs :) Sweet. It was really fun to catch up with her and find out what all she's been up to lately.

I also got to chat with my Lizzy about her up and coming wedding and some other fun stuffs. I can't wait to see her on Monday!!! Hooray for dress shopping!

Alrighty kids, after stapling over 100 exams tonight, I'm going to call it a night and hit the hay.
Have a rockin' FRIDAY!!

Shalom =)
~MW

My heart has officially been stolen

These kids have my heart. It's only been two short days and they have me. I am seriously dreading leaving them on Friday. Seriously. When I took this sub spot I was really nervous about it being for 4 days, and having to get up at 6/6:30 every day, etc., etc. But, now I actually want to get up in the mornings!! And, tonight, instead of looking at the clock and thinking, "Dang, it's 9:30...I need to be in bed in 30min..." I find myself thinking, "SCORE!!! I get to go to bed soon, and then that means I get to see my the kids again soon!!!" Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty smitten.

As much headache as they have been able to cause in two days, I can't get enough of them! They are a bunch of hoodlums, but I love them anyway.

Today was very encouraging for me. The kids let me know that they "love" me!!! I seriously do not know if there is anything that feels better than lives you have been charged with, however short the frame of time, letting you know that you are doing a good job. Seriously, so heart warming.

As the kids have their midterm exam on Friday they are getting a little nervous and anxious about the material. 5th period is my off period and their study hall period. I told them that I would stay in the room through 5th period and lunch so that they could come see me if they had any questions or need help on anything. I had about 5 or so kids show up. I was pretty impressed with that number - one kid hadn't even been to my class for the day yet!! I was pretty busy with one little boy who I thoroughly enjoy, but he is one of those brilliant kids who has a million and one things swimming around in his little head and so it takes a bit for him to fish out the info he needs to answer the question in front of him. He knows the answers, he just has to open the right door to find them. But, in between him taking a few moments here and there to think (it was so awesome to see a mind actually stop for a moment and dedicatedly search for a piece of information that had been stored up - sooo cool!) I worked with some other kids. I had a blast helping them come to the correct answers pretty much on their own, or clarifying some concept they just didn't get. There was one little girl who came in, and she says to me, "Miss Cummins, can I just hang out in here for study hall?" "Sure, Rachel, just don't be disruptive." She was perfectly content to simply sit and rest her brain (she had already taken her language arts midterm that morning...poor kids!). She and I chatted for a little bit while other kiddos were working on stuff, and then she went back to study hall a little before the bell. I kept working with the little boy I mentioned above until the bell rang and off he went to lunch. Ah... I was then left with a few moments to tidy up the strewn room and nibble on my lunch snack (granola bar and apple sauce cup...filling...). As I went to sit at my desk and just stop, I came across the most delightful surprise: a post-it-note from Rachel that said the following:


My heart absolutely melted, I tell you! I seriously almost cried, I was so touched. These kids have known me for two days and they are already giving me sweet, sweet encouragement. How my Heavenly Daddy is blessing me with them this week.

Another gem from today was from my 7th period 8th graders...the terrors. Haha. I love them dearly, but my goodness do they try my patience?! Well, in an amongst my sternness and goofiness with them, they granted me the following sweetness:
"Miss Cummins?"
Yes?
"Could you just be our sub forever? For the rest of the year?"

Oh my goodness, I almost lost it. I could not believe that the kids I threaten the most were asking me to stay...after TWO DAYS!! Haha, one kids says to me, "What was your minor in?" English. "SWEET! So, should something...happen...to our language arts teacher...YOU could take over for her!?!?!!!!" BAH-HAHA!! That one killed me! I was speechless. I just told them that if any of their teachers are out and the school calls me up I would be more than happy to come sub for them again. Hahaha, oh they kill me. They actually had me laughing so hard about something in regards to the review we went over today, something I can't remember right now, that I couldn't breathe. I turned bright red like I do when I laugh so hard that I stop breathing...I was crying... They looooved it. Oh my goodness. While I seriously wanted to string some of them up by their toes at times, I had an awesome time with them today.

CANNOT wait to get there tomorrow!! We are playing Jeopardy! as a review game...not gonna lie, this one kinda scares me to think about...7th/8th graders are crazy competitive. But, I'm up for it!

I'm off to dreamland, all. Love you dearly...again, no proofing on this one.

Shalom!
~MW

Reviews and Arm Screws...?

So, today was day one of subbing for me - ever. And let me just tell you now: teaching is so totally my thing! I LOVE it. Am I totally and completely 100% exhausted at this moment in time?? YES. Absolutely. I'd be lying to you if I even tried to say anything different right now. BUT, I absolutely canNOT wait to go back to love on those kids some more tomorrow.

Ok, so how did today go?? {Well, as I'm sure you've gathered from my opening...} After waking up to one of the most amazing text messages one could ever receive, from my darling Mak, I started my day with an extra little skip in my step. Didn't leave the house quite when I wanted to, but I still got to school with plenty of time to settle in and prepare myself for a day full of 7th and 8th graders :D {Seriously, total bliss} First period got off to a good start with my first class of 7th graders - precious, precious kids, like really. They were very cheery and welcoming, even though it was 8am and the first class of the day. They did an outstanding job with their warm-up exercise and work so beyond diligently on their exam reviews, allowing me a quiet 30min stretch to take it all in and observe them quietly and contently. Most them made really good progress on their review which should make tomorrow pretty easy to get through with them. They left for 2nd period with smiles on their faces and got plenty of "See you tomorrow, Miss Cummins!" {Still trips me out to be called Miss Cummins...yikes, I'm getting old!!}
2nd period gave me my first dose of 8th graders...huge differene between the two grades, I mean, major. These kids seem so grown up! I could hardly believe it. A little more willing to tow the line, but still very respectful and willing to help me out when there were uncertainties as to how things are done in their classroom. I mean, there were, of course, those kids who were all, "Oh! Miss Cummins! I know how we do that....," complete with "angelic grin". My response, "Ehhh! WRRRAANNGGG!!!" (Mario Twins, anyone??) Ok, so I did not respond to the kids by quoting Group X videos, but it went through my head, lol. I did however see right through their attempts to "help" me settle in. Haha, they think they are so sly! Depending on the dynamic of the period I would kind of play along with some of the kids and then just totally broad-side them with "Yeah, except that, I know that's not how it is done..." Insert looks of shock, horror, and "Aw, man!" Haha. Priceless. The rest of the morning went really smoothly and I rarely had to ask the kids to do or not do something twice - is this real life!?

LUNCH DUTY! Oh my gosh those kids are LOUD!!!!! I was already suffering from a sinus headache, add the acoustics of a cinderblock, mirror-walled (it doubles as the dance team room), tile-floored lunch room, complete with oh...70+ 7th and 8th graders laughing and talking/shouting at the top of their lungs for a good 45min and you have a perfect recipe for misery. Awesome. It was great though, because I got to visit with one of my old teachers, whom I adored (and still do). That was super great.

My two periods after lunch were a bit more challenging than the first 4. It's after lunch and getting to be the end of the day...the kids are just ready to go home at that point. Here come some stories, though...oh man, 7th period was a rough one. But first about my 6th period 7th graders. I LOVED them!! While they were a little "A.D.D." it was super great to actually get to interact with them. They asked questions!! They asked for help! We had a class discussion about some of the questions on their review!! Oh, it was so great. THAT, my friends, is what I love doing - interacting with the kids and teaching! So yeah, that was great. But 7th period...oh 7th period - more 8th graders. WOW. There really are no words for these kids! I mean, absolutely and positively endearing, but wow...crazy. I had to get rough with them. I was insanely close to writing a few d-halls. Probably should have, but if the kids behave this week their teacher will let them make their own seating chart when they get back from spring break...I would so hate to have to take that away from them. If I have to write down one name, that's it - no free seating. So yeah, I'm trying to work with them, but man do they push it! I actually had to bust out the old "Do NOT make me start counting..." Haha. It was rich. These two boys had decided that it was totally ok to get up from their seats and start shoving this one kids arm (which he recently had surgery on...they had to put in screws he's on this mechanical brace, yada, yada...) in this one girls face! She's freaking out because he's making the screw poke out a bit and the two boys are just absolutely loving it. I calmly asked them to please return to their seats...nothing. Well, ok, I'll raise my voice a little bit...maybe they can't hear me? Nope. Alright, here we go: "P, T...do NOT make me start counting. Leave R alone; go SIT down at your desks; and, WORK on your reviews, please. If I have to start counting it will not be fun for you." Oh my goodness, you should have seen their faces. The entire class stopped, turned back around to their desks, the hoodlums returned to their desks, and they all started working on their reviews. SCORE!!! Haha, I'm not gonna lie, I was a wee bit proud of myself...shocked that I could be that stern and still keep my cool. I can't wait to be a mom :) They were still fun kids, though. Haha, this one little boy totally tried to flirt with me throughout the whole class period - it was all I could do to not laugh out loud. SO, so funny!

I am utterly smitten with these kids...yes, after one day. I'm already sad thinking about leaving them on Friday :( Ridiculous of me, I know. But, I love them...what can I say?!

I am positively in heaven working with the kiddos. I know every day won't and can't be as fun as today was for me, but nothing is ever all rainbows and butterflies. And, I mean I survived the 7th period devils, so that has to be something to cling to, ya?? I think yes :)

Oki doki, olies, I'm calling it quits for now...it's LOST time, yo!!! WHOOP!! Hooray for LOST and tea. Mmmmm, divine.

As is so often the case, I'm not proofing this post...sorry kids, I'm tired.

Shalom!
~MW

Happy....Monday?

Yes, indeed!! Today is definitely off to a great start. Saw the boys off to school (Daddy-o said he would take them today), visited with the Momma over a lovely cup of coffee, and here I am, with the entire day in front of me! Errands, prepare to be run! Books, prepare to be read! Yeah! {complete with fist pump}

Oh yes, today will be a good day. Dreary as it is. Yes, I did just show dislike for a dreary day...I'm officially ready for spring. I'm desperately longing for those crisp sunny days that are so perfectly divine for frolicking around in the great outdoors. Soon :)

Well, as most of you have probably come to realize, when I go to CS for a week or so I'm the absolute worst blogger, ever. I know, I know, I really need to get my priorities in check...working on it! But really, can you blame me? I mean, the people that I allow to pull me away from the internets are ridiculously amaAaAaAazing!! You would drop everything else if you had the opportunity to play with them, too. Promise.

My travels started off with a roadtrip to see SKate with CarrieHammie and Catia. After staying up til, oh 3:30AM or so we made an appearance at Sherwood Forest - oh the peoples we saw... Never imagined I would lay my eyes upon a centaur named Larry. Yep, that happened. It was fun times. We were all ridiculously exhausted from pretending like we were back in high school and getting something like 4hrs of sleep before spending a day strolling around the Forest, but you know, we made it through.

From there I scurried on over to CS for a week of visiting with my college loves...and working in the laaaab. Both facets of the week were awesome. I decided I can "sleep when I'm dead" so I stayed up crazy late every night trying to squeeze every ounce of visit time with my peeps that I possibly could...paying for that now, but it was totally worth it! And, we were super productive at the lab! Got tons of pics taken and we made some huge progress on the egg stats! WHOOP! Um....we are thinking we can have a rough copy ready to send off for peer review by the end of this week - oh yes, it is finally happening! Publication, here we come!!!!!! Oh! I also tested my hand at tennis this week...for the first time ever. It was way fun! Though I really need to work on my aim...the first ball I hit flew about 3 courts over to the left....woops! Haha, yeah, I was totally that person. But, I can't wait to volley around again. So fun! Doubles was fun to play too. While experiencing tennis I got to make a new friend, too! She's an old friend of B's and she was passing through CS on her way home. Can't wait to continue building up our new friendship. She's totally awesome and has an amazing life story. Hooray for new friends!

The week was just straight-up awesome. That's all there is to it.

And, what made it all even better was this: I got to visit with my darling, darling Ponders!!!! Oh, it was glorious to spend the weekend with them. I miss them so terribly. Moving to MN is gonna suck :( But! It's not forever!! :D

So, guess what?! This week I get to sub Tues-Fri for the 7th/8th grade teacher at PCA! Hooray!! I'm terrified out of my mind!!! Haha. I'm super excited about it, but quite nervous, to be completely honest. I've never taught in a classroom setting, so this should be interesting. But, ya gotta start somewhere, am I right?! I'm sure I will have LOTS of fun stories to grace your eyes with this week - be looking for them starting tomorrow evening.

I'm also going to try and get some hard, on paper plans drawn up for my mommy's garden! I'm excited. As is she. We talked about some ideas I have, many of which were influenced by Mr. Powell. Should be fun! I'll throw something up, at some point, for y'all kids to take a gander at.

And, with that, I am off to go run those errands and get to being productive today :D

Shalom!
~MW

EDIT: OMG!!!! GPISD just emailed me and said they want me to be a sub for them, too! Now I just need to go get fingerprinted and go to an orientation in April!!!!!!!!!!! Hooray! (I mean, April is a ways off, but still - GPISD has a bit of rougher crowd of kids, and, in all seriousness, that's totally where I want to be!)