Initially today was like any other Sunday, got up (later than planned), got ready for church, headed of to my dear Living Hope, worshiped and gleaned pearls of wisdom from the wise Butch, chatted with a few peeps, then headed back home for a lazy afternoon (I decided that if I start calling the apartment home more it will begin to feel more like a home and less like a temporary place of living...I think it will work). Took a nap that, of course, lasted way too long then headed up to Living Hope for this month's membership informational class.
I've been going to Living Hope for about a semester and all summer long and I really feel like the Lord wants me there for the remainder of my time in CS. So, naturally I felt it would be wise and fair to Living Hope members that I look into membership for this next semester. I'd heard that college students are generally allowed to hold a dual membership with Living Hope and their original Home church at "home" and this is what I had planned to do. As I was sitting in the class my heart was over-joyed as I listened to Butch talk to a room full of prospective members about how real and active the family at Living Hope is. Then he got to the becoming a member part, and here is where I am struggling.
So, here's a little background info I feel is essential to the understanding of this story. I was raised in the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod, and that is where my firm belief remains. Why am I currently attending a Baptist church, you might ask? When I initially moved to CS I, of course, started attending the University Lutheran Chapel, but after a semester of faithful attendance there I felt like the Lord didn't want me there. Me, being vehicle-less tagged along with friends to their churches that next (spring) semester and ended up attending Grace Bible Church from then up until two semesters ago when I felt like the Lord was calling me to find a church where I could better reach my full potential as a servant for Him, working with a group of people with the desires I have to reach people here and now. With that Angela and I tried out Living Hope. In all honesty, I really, really didn't like it the first time I attended and didn't go back for the rest of that fall semester. Spring rolled around and I was still at Grace, because I needed to be somewhere even if it didn't "fit" ***side-note: please try to understand what I am meaning to say and not what I am actually saying when I say things like "fit" and the like, I'm not all that articulate today***. I felt the Lord tugging me back to Living Hope, and I was like, "Lord! I didn't like it there...they talked during the sermon! I'm a Lutheran, we don't do things like that..." I, somewhat be-grudgingly, gave in to His call and went to Living Hope again. Surprisingly, this time I liked it and the interaction during the sermon didn't distract me like it did the first time I went, "...hmm," I though. Long story short, I have been faithfully attending ever since. But I am still a Lutheran when it comes to theology - therein seems to lie the "problem."
So, Lutherans and Baptists don't agree when it comes to a few theological issues like infant baptism. I was baptized on April 4th, 1987 and I consider that to be the day that the Lord's Spirit entered my soul and began working within me and growing me into the believer I am today. I do not believe that simply because someone was baptized as an infant and didn't "make that decision" themselves that they are being disobedient to the Lord's will. Why? Because I don't think we, as humans, can put limits on God, also, I do not believe that "conversion" (not that being baptized is point of conversion) is a decision, but rather the Holy Spirit working a life and spirit change within you. If it were a decision, wouldn't that be a work? Anyways, back to baptism. My baptism, though it was over 22 years ago, is one of the most defining moments of my life and I cling to that day when my faith begins to falter. Also, why can't children and infants have the gifts of baptism (forgiveness of sins, rescue from death and the devil, eternal salvation to those who believe - Mark 16:16)?? Acts 2:37-39 tells us that baptism is for all ages: "And Peter said to them, "Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself."" Who are we to say who the Lord does and does not call to Himself simply because those of us baptized as infants didn't decide to get baptized of our own accord? This last passage says that anyone who is baptized receives the gift of the Holy Spirit...And I firmly believe that the Lord breathed His Spirit and created me a new creation the day I was baptized. Also, infants have cognition, the Bible even tells us so, Luke 1:41-44. I don't say any of this in a self-righteous tone or to be disrespectful to Butch or to try to prove his teaching/belief wrong, theology is one of those things within the Body of Christ that the Devil definitely uses to create rifts and chaos in the fellowship of the Body. I am simply laying my beliefs and my struggle (below) out there.
But the whole point of this is that now I don't know what to do about Living Hope. I love it there and that is where I feel the Lord wants me for this next semester, but I thought He would want me to be a full member...unless I am baptized by submersion I can't be a member at Living Hope, and my being re-baptized would mean that I believe my baptism as an infant was null and void and I certainly do NOT believe that, at all. Really, I suppose I need to sit down with Butch and talk with him about it. I know I can be involved in a HOPE group without being a member, but I would like to be on a ministry team as well, and I don't know if I can do that without being a member. Unfortunately Butch will be out of town for the next 2wks, just my luck :) So, I suppose it will have to wait 'til he gets back from Africa. Oy, theology... Ah, well, it will all get figured out, I'm sure, I just wanted to be a member and start getting involved with things now. Bummer.
I've been kind of in a funk all afternoon since then. A lot of it has to do with Lindsey not being here all day after staying at David's last night...they came back for about an hour and then left again and I don't know when I'll see her again, she's not coming home again tonight...I miss my roomz :(
BUT! Angela and Mika come tomorrow!!!! SO exciting. I cannot wait to see them - it will be a good week :)
That's all for now, lovelies, I think I am going to go try to make some sort of sauce with some blueberries and strawberries I have before they go bad...
Blessings and Peace to you!
~MW
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